The Homecoming Dress Dilemma 

My daughter, Maggie, is taking over the blog this week. It’s all about homecoming dresses and she, just like most high school girls has a very strong opinion about what they want to wear for homecoming. 

This year, happily, we found a homecoming dress we both could agree on. Not an easy task btw… As we were going through the process, or a better descriptor might be the negotiation, Maggie voiced a distinct opinion on the subject. I thought her take on it was an interesting insight from the POV of the teen, the person that actually needs to wear said homecoming dress… 

So without further adieu…Here’s Maggie 

The Teen’s Point of View 

Last year my mom did a blog post on what to wear to homecoming from a mother’s perspective. And while YES, a parents’ perspective is super-duper important, I think the perspective of a teenage girl is too. As a high school girl in 2019, I can tell you, homecoming can be stressful, especially when it comes to what you’re wearing. You want to make a statement with your dress, but still kind of look the same as your friends. In other words, you want to wear what everyone else is wearing. That may sound kind of weird but most of the time it’s the truth. You want to be unique and yourself, but still blend in, if that makes sense. 

Nowadays we look for tight, short dresses because that’s what everyone else is wearing. We don’t want long and we don’t want flowy, we want short and tight. Even though I know I should just be myself and do what’s right for me, honestly, I want to fit in. We all do. 

What Teens Look for in a Homecoming Dress 

The truth is that when I look for homecoming dresses I’m looking for something maybe a tad a bit risque. When I show my mom these dresses, she just looks at me and shake her head. I know that if my father saw me in one of the head-shaking dresses, my mom would have to cover his eyes, and I don’t want that. Finding a dress that’s a happy medium is what it’s all about, something you feel comfortable in and your parents are comfortable seeing you in too. 

Recently, my mom, dad and I went to go HoCo dress shopping. I had seen the cutest black lace dress with lace arms at Haven in Chagrin Falls and I thought my parents might approve of it too. Partly because it was not super short and because it had sleeves. I kind of thought the arms and mid-thigh length might cancel out the tightness factor. And, when I tried it on, it was perfect! I felt good about myself in it and I wasn’t afraid to come out of the dressing room for my dad to see me in it. 

It was the perfect mix. Mostly conservative (by high school standards) with long sleeves and no cut-outs or deep, plunging v’s but the length and lace gave it the “sexy” kinda vibe I was hoping for. This was a compromise dress. We each compromised and we each were happy in the end. 

My Advice… 

If I had to give you one piece of advice when shopping for a homecoming (or prom) dress with your daughter it’s this… just ask her “would you go out with your father in this and feel comfortable?” Believe me, that question will make her think. And also maybe compromise, which is not necessarily a bad thing. I know that as a teenage girl we are trying to show off the “ASSests” that we have very recently gotten and are just getting used to. In some ways, we’re experimenting and playing dress-up. It’s like when we were little and used to wear our mom’s high heels when we were in preschool, we’re playing grownup. And while we are not quite grown-ups yet, we’re not little kids anymore either. 

Basically, we are just trying to figure it out. Probably the same way you parents are trying to figure us out. My mom said there was a song back in her day by Meat Loaf titled “2 Out of 3 Ain’t Bad” and I’m thinking that should be the rule when it comes to parents and kids agreeing on homecoming dresses. Maybe if the kid wants 1. short and 2. tight and 3. lot’s of skin showing. The parent should say you can pick 2 out of 3… either tight and not short or short and not tight. If lots of skin is showing on top it needs to be a little longer. You get the idea, it’s compromising. 

Here are some dresses both my mom and I could agree on

I just listened to the Meat Loaf song and It’s the worst advice ever! While I like the idea of the 2 out of 3 ain’t bad rule for dresses. But If the guy wants you and needs you but ain’t gonna love you I say don’t compromise, instead, say GOODBYE! 

Thanks, Maggie! And just so you all know, the dress in the photo above is not the dress we compromised on, so it is still available at Haven if you’re looking!